Back to Reality

For the past few days, I've been inexplicably happy. Exams and lab reports created a disaster in my room. I probably drank quarts of coffee. I have an exam coming up in a couple hours. But I sit back and relax, the bliss which is ignorance. The sanctity of mental peace eclipses the act of scribbling ink into paper.



"Time sure does fly by.." It's 2010. Three long years after graduating high school, I sit here thinking about all the things that have been and that are to come. I spent much of the past few months in denial. I don't want to leave college knowing that I'm going to become a slave for the rest of my life. Living to work? Working to survive? Living to survive? The duality of the simple and the complex exists throughout every stage in life.



"With age comes wisdom." It's ironic that I've learned about things from acids and bases to quantum mechanics, but I tried to forget about the byproducts of learning. The countless hours spent studying accompanied by the hours spent drinking. After completing my third year, I realized that alcohol is a waste of time. Students of different backgrounds consume the elixir of college. Watery, grapey, and even sometimes fiery, it can create the best moments or the worst hangovers. All-in-all, I regret drinking to escape reality. The exams and lab reports were a drag, but I should have seen them as opportunities of refinement. (Drink as a reward!)



"Carpe diem." I wake up struggling to get out of bed. The cold air forces me to make a cocoon. Why do I have to get up now?! Minutes pass by and I realize - I'm a student. A student eventually becomes more experienced to pass on the same knowledge to future students. Commencement officially removes that 'student' label and sticks on a blank one. After graduating, we seize our own future and set our lives on an unforeseeable path. What's to come?



"Slap in the face." Theories, hypotheses, and critical thinking are required for chemistry majors. Applying those skills make us more marketable. But the flaws are overwhelming. I spent the past few months trying to forget what once was. I held onto memories I will always cherish. I did not want to speculate about past, present, or future; I only wanted to live in the 'now'. There have been moments of joy, of sadness, of love, of hate, of confusion, of exhilaration. The uncertainty of the future makes me think about what I want and how I'm going to get it. The fear of false hope made me dwell in the moment and forget about what really mattered. When reality slaps you in the face, it hits you really hard. I looked back too many times only to realize that doing so wasted time.



"Whatever happens happens." I write this to remind myself in the future to be focused and work hard. The stroke of luck can be perceived as coincidence. The threads spun by the Fates or the path set by God have the same meaning. Shit happens whether it's good or bad. It doesn't matter if it was luck or meant to be. The present becomes the past and the future becomes the present. Life knows no bounds and is limitless.



Today's forecast is sunny and crisp. Tomorrow's forecast is

Pick a scientist's brain..

Nothing can be more aggravating than knowing and believing in evidence supporting a questionable theory which lacks any argument proving its own existence.

Prove me wrong.

-Untitled-

In the last 36 hours, I have been obsessing with this one show which I refuse to ever mention outside my apartment. Why? It is too eerily what I seek in life. The excitement, the danger, the unknown, the surprise, and the beauty that have trapped me to my computer. Mindlessly absorbed in fiction I cannot break the habit.

And then it happened. I fall asleep and I become the hero. Traveling around the world while simultaneously saving it. Running after terrorists in the streets of Vienna. Coming across the scent of violet which resonates from the flowers found everywhere but Illinois. Stopping a nuclear bomb from exploding and saving thousands of lives. Walking in the gym without anyone ever finding out what had occurred.

I wake up and I find myself in a familiar setting. I'm around the friends I've always had and the friends I've just made. I go to all of my classes - even my biochemistry class that I dread. I make myself a huge meal. Friends visit on the weekend. An old friend walks in. We catch up and talk about what we've missed out on. I even bring up the lucid dream I recently had. We continue to talk and eventually it comes up. It's not something I used to feel comfortable talking about, but why does it matter? It's been years and its relevance doesn't affect our lives at this point. We reconcile. Something stupid had eventually snowballed into something big. That snowball had just been crushed to reveal that nothing had started it. A mistake had just been fixed.

I rarely regret things in life and never consider them as mistakes. To fix them, I distract myself with friends, family, and booze. So I guess that really isn't fixing anything, but it sure does beat out feeling any regret. Years pass and the regret that overcomes me forces me to face my mistake. I can either learn from the mistake and live without making anymore mistakes, or I can try to undo the mistake with the help of my time machine! (kidding) By facing our demons, we undo time. The mistake is corrected. The end.

And then I wake up. (OMG! It's a double rainbow - er, dream...) That was some Inception bullshit. No people saved from nuclear bombs. No Mediterranean meals. No reconciliation. Same old reality. I have never felt so comfortable with a dream, only to have life feel like it rewinded. Double dreams, touche. I blame my subconscious for letting stupid people inside my brain. We need to beef up the security!

Coming Soon!

I've been meaning to get to coming up with a post...

In the meantime, gif galore!





















If you didn't like these, then you have no soul!