DVD Release

For the past month, I've been wanting to write - not on anything specific but more so because I enjoy reading and writing. So here I am. Life after graduation has flown by. I made plans to go to New York the week after "receiving" my diploma. Seven weeks have passed; I received my diploma and leave for New York in three days. Wow. Time really does fly by. I've been making a conscious effort to enjoy every moment that occurs during the infinite sunrises and sunsets. In order to maximize the efficiency of this daunting task, I've learned how to spend and save money. Every dollar earned does not mean every dollar must be spent. My rationale on money has slowly evolved after years spent in college. I'm not proud of my current habits, but that's what will drive me to be smarter about my money in the future. Being complacent means being okay with the status quo. I was complacent for too long. I started to workout again by buying a membership at XSport fitness. I quit smoking cigarettes because I know that my addiction was consuming my youth and money. I buy new clothes to update and sport my own style. I introduce my palette to interesting and different kinds of tastes. Not everything I have done in the past two months have been productive. Last night, I lost my self-control and face planted after leaving the bars. I gave myself a chipped tooth, an abrasion on my left forearm, three jammed knuckles and fingers, open cuts on my lip and right hand, and am now sporting 5 angry bird band aids to decorate my battle wounds. I am not proud of it, but I needed life to kick me in the ass. This isn't a rant to say I will quit drinking for the rest of my life. I know I will sip it once again, but I have come to realize that many of my problems become exasperated by alcohol. I do not want THINGS to control my life. By quitting the habit of smoking cigarettes, I removed myself from nicotine's tentacles. No matter how strong the temptation, I try my best to avoid it. I know that alcohol has to go, at least for the time being. I want to remind myself that alcohol's risks far outweigh its rewards. I wanted to write more, but I'm too tired to continue. My mind is cluttered with thoughts, but my injured body refuses me to let me write any longer. Life is beautiful. -Allen

Release

The original theme of this blog was based on my love for movies. I wrote as if as though I was documenting my life as a movie. It has been a surreal experience, but an error in perception. I viewed it through the camera lens of a director trying to control everything and appease his/her producer. That constant pursuit of perfection can be magnificent or detrimental. It's time to move on. I'm moving on to the release of this "movie" blog and moving forward. My integrity hasn't changed since graduating, but my mentality has changed. I am open to enjoy my experiences but against wasting time. I'm enjoying my breaks and working hard when necessary. It's what's expected in post-college life, but it should not be assumed. "Oh, I'm a real adult now. I'll get a job and start living life." Wrong. We started living life once we were conceived by our parents. It's never too late to start living a life without regret. I enjoyed my time writing this blog. I really did wish I wrote more, but there hasn't been the same motivation or allotted time to write essays. However, I will continue to write when I can, regardless of where I am in life. The title is "Release" and not just because that's one of the last steps in movie production. It describes the release of my youthful worries and inexperience becoming adult worries and inexperience. Life is constantly changing, but the core of everything remains. My next blog, which is temporarily named the Barking 20's (after the Roaring 20's and I'm currently in my 20's), will begin with a series on "Identity" and my current perception/opinion. Afterwards, I won't really have any idea which direction it will go, but that's what I'm going to do for the time being. It's been fun; let's keep it going

Lion King

Who doesn't remember the Disney classic The Lion King and the epic songs in it? People growing up watching Disney have no problem recalling Rafiki and his crazy antics or Timon and Pumba singing in the jungle. Even now as a twenty two year old, I childishly watch the movie knowing full well what's going to happen next. The only thing I wish is that there's a way to make the movie with Avatar technology. So, I thought of a list of actors and actresses that could match the roles of dramatic animals.



Who would take the lead role of Simba? Joseph Gordon-Levitt, of course. After watching him dance in (500) Days of Summer and kick ass in Inception, he suitably displays the traits of a king-to-be by simultaneously being awkward and fierce. It should be a no-brainer for this rising star to go from lost youth to confident leader.



The qualities of casting Scar would require finding an actor who manipulates not only his family but the audience as well. Ralph Fiennes is better recognized as Voldemort, the ultimate villain in the Harry Potter series, but should also be considered for his role as Hades, the treacherous god in The Clash of The Titans. Scar is the weaker brother of the mighty Mufasa. I can easily see Fiennes bowing out of a fight and then only to cleverly plot the demise of his mortal enemy.



James Earl Jones has THE defining voice of the great fathers Mufasa and Darth Vader. Unfortunately, his large figure automatically rules him out from being the alpha male in this live-action movie. In my imaginary film, I would have Liam Neeson casted as Mufasa. Neeson heroically saves his daughter in Taken, heroically saves lives in Schindler's List, heroically guides his son in The Clash of the Titans, and heroically tragically dies in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. [Morgan Freeman is a close second if it wasn't due to his old age.]



The best friends Timon and Pumba should be the models for every black-and-white duo. This one's pretty hard to cast; so I'm just going to give it to Zach Braff and Donald Faison. I've been obsessively watching the series since the semester has been over and I cannot help but laugh at every almost homosexual act they have. Timon and Pumba are best buds without question as are the comical doctors JD and Turk. Both pairs always make me laugh.



Rafiki, the crazy babboon-shaman, has the smallest role with the largest impact. It's hard to say. This one is a tie between Steve Carell and Jim Carrey. Carell, better known as Michael Scott from The Office, is unfortunately the typecast actor who is usually not taken seriously but does a great job of being serious during intense climaxes. Carrey is one of my favorite actor/comedians. He was snubbed from SNL but moved onto greater things in Hollywood. Both of them have the charismatic qualities of a maniac (in a good way) that has the ability to interpret the future.



The roles of Shenzi, Ed, and Banzai have been criticized, but they are important characters as Scar's underlings. Ken Jeong has a unique ability to make people laugh but at the same time I want to strangle him which qualifies him to be Banzai.



Nala - Natalie Portman



Zazu - Chris Tucker



Sarabi - Oprah



the ending

Finale

I'm 6 days away from graduation, which means I'm 7 days away from post-undergrad life. Although it took a long time, I feel like each semester taught me valuable life lessons. One semester I learned about how to balance school, friends, and family. Another semester I learned not to study too hard for something I didn't enjoy. The past summer I realized how much I enjoyed traveling and how much I will in the future. This semester I've learned to truly appreciate everything I have in my life and not take things for granted. I have definitely used my time in the cornfields to grow as a person. Whether life leads me to a chemistry lab or to an office in Hong Kong, I welcome the change and the adversity that awaits. It could be stupidity or it could be courage. I'm not really sure, but I have always desired to do the impossible. Once I graduate, I want to become someone who will positively affect people's lives. I don't want to be indebted to anyone, but the truth is I owe everyone so much because if it weren't for them I wouldn't be who I am today. This definitely sounds cheesy, but looking back I've had great memories with people I may never see again. It isn't a depressing or pessimistic thought. It's a fact. Things change under different circumstances for everyone. We really won't know where all of us are going to be 5 or 10 years from now. Some people are going to be married and some of them are even going to have children. Sadly, others might even be dead. Person A might be an investment banker, Person B might be a professor, Person C might be a teacher. It's an unknown path that we should appreciate every step of the way, because time flies by and every moment counts. I started this blog 2 years ago. Frankly, I don't really care if people read this or not. It was just a way to keep track of thoughts and ideas that I had. One of my life's ambitions is to be a man of integrity. Whatever I want in life, I will work hard for it. I'm not sure how too gauge how much integrity I have now, but I want to be able to look back in my life and say that I lived a life full of integrity and regret nothing because of my character. I'll hopefully blog once more before graduation. But after that, I'm going to start a new blog to document my travels, tastes, and thoughts as a working man. Time to grind out a long study session.

Insomnia

It's 4 am and I'm wide awake. This feeling sucks. What's incredible is that I'm running on at most 3 hours of good sleep in the last two days. Easter Sunday was perhaps one of the most unusual days of my life. My spiritual life grew immensely after OIL and then came to a screaming halt the week before spring break. However, I was and still am reminded about how far apart I have come from God. I receive all these blessings; yet, I don't feel like I deserve any of it. I cannot wait to finish college. I want to work for everything that I have to feel like I deserve what I have. But God continues to rain down his blessings and I am so rebuked by it.

Wow. It was really hard to tell myself or even come to accept any of that for the past three weeks. Sunday and Monday (yesterday) were one of my joyfullest days. I love my family in-and-out. I miss them everyday. Before, I just wondered how they were doing; now, I'm actually calling them to see how they're doing. I believe it's my inner desire to find love (be it women, family, or friends) that keeps me going. There were times were I felt so alone that it felt like no one was even attempting to reach out to me. That was bullshit. I just closed myself off from everyone, resulting in an increasing number of deteriorating relationships.

Help! Great song by the Beatles. I'm not sure if it's another epiphany, but the extent of my independence has reached the borders of ignorance and stupidity. I appreciate all the help I received from my family and my friends through my growing years. I didn't realize how much they've helped me grow into the person I am now. Sure, many of the times it didn't seem like help, but every encounter I've had in my life slowly built the perception of the world I have now. I refused to ask for help from anybody and selfishly demanded it instead. I never reached out thinking that my pride was always at stake. Asking questions is what the intellectual elites do. I failed in that realm numerous times.

I have a collection of random memories that serve no purpose to me other than to remind myself (regret) of what I could or should have done and will do in the future. Learning from mistakes is something I'm far better prepared for. It's depressing to realize that I had to make many along the way. I'm not trying to imply that I am sad - far from it. I have my down moments, but more than 80% of the time I am happy. Having the wide range of emotions is what makes us human. Feeling sad or pain is completely washed away by joy and laughter.

The past three months (pseudo-summer) were the warmest months on record. Where does the flashing warning about climate change come in? Much of the environment is changing, and yet we're all imprisoned by the media machine that stops us from preventing that change from becoming catastrophic. I am by no means pushing for a liberal agenda. I support the human agenda - that is the survival of the human race. To do so, everyone has to work for money that supports the pleasant lifestyle that we're fortunate enough to even have. The Syrians are going through one of the bloodiest civil wars in the decade, and 350 million Americans continue to live their lives only glancing at the news.

To put it into perspective, we as a first world nation have an abundance of resources that allow us to live in luxury. Many of our arguments stem from our own search for survival. That is simply what humans do. We fight in different ways to survive for what's best for ourselves, our families, our friends, and our future. The meaning of life is to live, and the meaning of death is to die. We innately carry these definitions, not as mere words, but by our scope of what surrounds us. Americans have their battles to fight in order to support our loved ones; Syrians are undergoing the same battle but with casualties. Our policies that affect them also affect us. (foreign affairs, economics, resources, media, sports) As humans, we fight to survive. (Currently, I'm fighting to fix my sleeping schedule and get some quality beauty sleep.)

I guess this insomnia dilemma is a good thing too. Everything I just wrote was stream of consciousness. Kinda like free flowing down a river without my lips making a single quiver. (Har har)

What's on my mind? My math midterm in 29 hours that I am not ready for, my family, my fantasy teams rocking in the playoffs, the amount of work I have to do to earn a paycheck, when and where to apply for jobs, editing my resume and cover letters by taking a deep look at what I've gained these past few years, the ACS certification that comes with my degree, my new computer that I am feeling guilty that I ordered, how the Cubs and the Bulls are going to do in the next month, slipping away from my spiritual life in many ways, what to do after I start working, getting back to the gym, working to refine my approach to money, finishing each task like I tried my best, looking to become the best son, husband, and father, finding not "the one" but someone I can share moments with, working hard for everything I've wanted in life, and fighting to survive through thick and thin.

I guess I have a lot on my mind, which is both good and bad. YES! I feel tired. Perfect timing. Good night world.

20/20

There are only so many cliches to describe how memorable or special the past year was to someone. This year was a period of transition where I went through many ups and downs, bad and good. The Bears were beyond lucky last season, and had terrible luck this year. The Cubs need as much luck as they can get every year. The Bulls bloomed like a Rose (har-har) last year and look even better this year. The economy was shaky, but there has been recovery. There was a blizzard, followed by one of the coldest days of the year, a scorching two week heat wave, and then it didn't even snow until after the New Year. Bin Laden, Qaddafi, and Kim Jong Il died, but tyranny still reigns. The Arab Spring and Occupy Wall Street movements have brought activism to new heights. Politics is hot air as usual.

On a personal note, this year flew by. I was in many places - Champaign, Panama City Beach, Kalamazoo, Memphis, New Orleans, NYC, Boston, and everywhere in Chicago. I became closer to my best friends, but grew further from my acquaintances. I stayed in school to learn more about myself and what I want in life. I quit smoking and then failed to keep that commitment. I went from 199.9 lbs to 175 lbs. I greatly improved my basketball skills. I stopped taking my family for granted and now I think about them every day. I learned how much I didn't like Chemistry. I realized that platonic love is incapable of satisfying what the heart truly seeks. I started the year in rock bottom and ended the year on top of the world.

2011 was unpredictable, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I am even more excited to see what 2012 will bring!

Relapse

The biggest concern for those who seek and attain progress in whatever aspects of life is the chance for relapse. For example, most, if not all, people are worried about the economy. The economy has made progress since the financial collapses of 2001 and 2008, where rampant deception almost toppled "Too Big To Fail" companies. Considered one of the greatest countries in the world, America has seen its fair share of ups and downs as has many countries around the globe.

The #OccupyWallStreet movement began as a simple protest against corporate greed and has evolved into a populist movement similar to one that took place right after the Gilded Age ended. The lack of unions and labor laws caused uproar around the countries for working Americans who lacked protection from the government. Today, Obama gave a similar speech to Teddy Roosevelt vowing to protect the middle class and its interests. Teddy Roosevelt should be remembered as a president who fought to break up trusts in the oil and telephone industries, which monopolized in order to maximize profits.

To me, it becomes rather eerie that after a hundred years, the same issues are being debated. Sure, the civil rights movement has earned rights for women, minorities, and soon the homosexual population. However, people should look at the human rights movement. The unions, organizations that protect the general interest of employees, garnered the most strength after decades of activism, but became unraveled after the 1970s. 1979 is a year that is referenced by not only artists, but the OWS movement as well. The wealthy inequality gap exploded that year and has not stopped since. The diminishing power of unions can be seen in the oil spill that shocked the world. Deregulation and propaganda are powerful allies that can permanently convince a significant (about 30%) portion of the population that some lies are facts.

The media is a powerful entity in today's technological world. The media is owned by corporations and censored by the government. In order to seek the truth, people have to read between the lines and find the answers themselves. The integrity of journalism has probably been compromised. It's very hard to find journalists like Bernstein and Woodward who seek to expose the truth because it is ultimately the right decision. We hear about all the political corruption involved in Congress and the White House. All of the lobbyists and corporate greed is entwined in today's political system, but people don't seem to care enough. Perhaps, they're in denial of the truth.

An example of the media's power is in today's sports entertainment - Tim Tebow. Wow. He is impressive. A devout Christian devoted to help the world wherever he goes. He speaks volumes about his faith to the media. He is the model Christian. However, he is a polarizing figure as people start to hate him and even mock him (see: Tebowing). He is a great story that captures his role in the recent 6-1 run by the Denver Broncos, but is also greatly discredited for his "imperfect" skills as a QB. How is he any different from a Christian? Not everyone is perfect.

The progress I made has been stunted. It is ironic that I relapsed after not smoking cigarettes for months. My gains I made from working out are beginning to deteriorate. My spiritual life is becoming shaky. My battle in living peacefully versus recklessly partying is becoming more intense. Relapse is a good word to use at the moment, but I don't want to think of it like that. I hope to get back on track and further distance myself from what I don't enjoy. Self-control and self-discipline is what brought me the most happiness. Time for me to take it back.

Can't wait until Christmas! The Bulls vs the Lakers. No more NBA lockout! Woo!